xwingace (xwingace) wrote in disorganised,
xwingace
xwingace
disorganised

No matter how small the fandom...

There's still badfic.

Once upon a time, the BBC produced a miniseries about Casanova. Some months later, the actor playing the title part soared into popularity as he was cast as the new Doctor in Doctor Who.

I can only imagine that fic like this is a response to
that popularity, and despair.

The fic has one review, but the reviewer seems to think the fic is about the Heath Ledger movie. Argh.


The first line of the fic:
Giacomo Casanova lay in his cell looking up at the ceiling, his depression growing by the second. The woman he loved was now married,...

Eh, no she isn't. Casanova escapes the night Henriette and Grimani marry. Besides, why is this particularly relevant? Possibly the author didn't fancy a double wedding?

Grimani ‘That fucker’ Giacomo thought murderously

Yes, in the show modern English is used instead of 18th century Italian. Still, the English that is used is British English, and different accents are used to distinguish the social station of the characters. This is subtle, and probably not so easily picked up on; however, in no universe would Casanova ever use or think the word "fucker". That's far too American. He'd more likely use 'bastard', or, if you really *do* feel the need for ruder words, 'wanker'.

He [Grimani] had never seen that much emotion displayed on the other mans [Casanova] face before; ...
Giacomo asked dispassionately and tiredly


So which is it? Full of emotion or completely dispassionate?

Ten lines into the fic and I can't go on because I'm spoilt for targets. Just few highlights, then:

He continued “you will be pardoned and your name cleared and allowed to stay in Venice, if you married my younger sister Astra Cherise Grimani. She turned eighteen earlier this month.”

Why would the Duke of Venice offer his youngest daughter to the city's most notorious criminal? At least this question is also asked in the fic, but it isn't actually answered.
I like the name of this girl, too. At least, if she were a car... But hey, at least she's legal. Never mind that the legal age was at least two years younger in those days.

Rocco cleared his throat and asked worriedly “why the hell are you here Giacomo?

Who is this and what has he done with the real Rocco Scapino? Rocco doesn't call Casanova by his full first name, especially not in public. Then it's 'sir'. In private, he might use 'Giac', or even 'Jack' if you prefer. And that is one hell of a question to ask worriedly...

It opened to reveal a young woman of mid height with slightly tanned skin. She was very beautiful. (Think Billie Piper)

Authors notes do not belong *in* a fic. Especially not like this.
Also, Billie Piper would probably be considered tall in the mid 1700's, and a tan was the mark of a manual labourer. Not likely to occur in the youngest daughter of a duke. Unless that's the author's way of indicating that the girl is slumming it, but I doubt she's that subtle. Oh, and the quoted sentence is followed by half a page describing her face, clothing and figure, all with admiring thoughts from Casanova

(Oh, and if you simply wanted to pair David Tennant and Billie Piper, there's Doctor Who... Not that I particularly want to add to the badfic count in that fandom either, but there at least a fic like this would dissappear among its ilk, instead of standing out like a sore thumb, because there is hardly *any* Casanova fic out there.)

Bryant Grimani

Sorry, what?

having died of cancer

How would they know? Remember, the doctors there thought that the best way to cure a heart-attack was to open the man's skull and take out his tongue for good measure...

Her father tells me she is fluent in French, German, not even I can speak German, she is currently close to finishing learning Spanish and Latin.”

He added “she is fully inversed in Shakespeare and philosophy. She can play the piano and the violin. She even understands the general gist politics for Christ sake.”

Rocco shook his head in wonder as he said “so you mean she looks to be someone who can match you not only in the intelligent’s department but also in wit as well.”


That's it. I declare Mary Sue.


And I haven't even touched on the horrendous punctuation...

Author, please get out of the fandom. Giac has suffered enough already, thanks.

XWA
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  • 3 comments
"she is fully inversed in Shakespeare and philosophy

Bwahahahaha! *mental image of upside down Mary-Sue stuffd head first up Shakespeare's backside...*

*helpless laughter*
ow ow ow *head hurts*
Oh god, there are so many things wrong with that fic. I just...I can't. I can't even. It's horrendous.

People need to realize that they're horrible writers and should stop writing. xD